There’s this cute guy in your class with whom you grab a bite now and then. He asks you
out often to catch a movie with him and you think or rather wish you are the only one he calls to for that. But of course you aren’t sure and even more than that can’t fathom asking him so. Similarly, he could be seeing this lovely girl next door who may call her to fix broken things or hang out after the gym but he has no way to know if that’s because they have something between them or if he’s just an another guy friend to her. Or worse…. he and maybe even you could be ‘on the hook’.
If this is going on for a while now and you still can’t define this ‘thing’ between you two and aren’t even sure if it’s exclusively with you or the guy/the girl that you are kinda seeing now is actually seeing someone else too on the side (or behind your back), one thing is certain, you are my friend in the ‘grey’ area. You know, that gloomy shade that’s somewhere between the black and the white? You are certainly in that.
Oh no. Don’t dare take it as something good. ‘Grey’ can be and probably is sexy and desirable only in the erotic novel, not in the real life. You are no Anastasia Steele and that grey area I’m talking about is nowhere close to Christian Grey either. In fact it’s something that you must be wary of from the start.
Courtship period is something everyone desires and enjoys too. The uncertainty there is nice in its own unique way. That’s what makes you blush and excited at the same time. It’s actually healthy for a relationship to begin. But that’s the twist. It is good when you have at least this much of certainty that this half baked relationship (if it’s even that), that’s spurring between you is going somewhere. You have a feeling then that he/she may only be shy and not yet ready to commit yet but yes you know that there is definitely a green signal somewhere down the road that will be visible once you drive down the lane a bit further.
But if that person is available at his/her own will alone, calls you to make plans only at the last moments and stays off the grid for long and without a warning beforehand, then be assured you are not reaching any green light. Believe it or not there’s not even a road ahead to reach anywhere. It’s the dead end or something far worse, it’s that darn Blair Witch Project that will make you go round and round but return you to the same spot with no progress whatsoever.
For some, this could be a dream come true. With no strings attached and apparently no psycho girlfriend/boyfriend to put a noose around your neck, they are a free bird to wander and yet have a home to come back to. But unlike these, most of you who need and want something real, someone to actually call your man or your girl, to rely on, feel cared for and have some stability in life; it can prove to be a living nightmare. Being in the ‘grey’ area eats you up; at least emotionally it does.
Most crave the more certain and relaxing black or white zones; a defined area which allows you to label them as ‘yours'; if black, then your friend (or the top name on your hit list) and if white, congratulations you got yourself a bae! So, getting stuck in the dull, gloomy, emotionally breaching and frustrating synonym for hell is no choice. Instead of sleeping on a wet sponge of a pillow and blaming and questioning yourself fruitlessly in the shower, gather some courage and shoot the question on them instead. At least they aren’t mute like your shower curtain; they’ll definitely have something to say. Good for you or bad that’s secondary. But anyway it’s always the best to define your relationship and mingle happily or even to stay single some more and enjoy the free and me time till you find the right one.
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