Gentleman. What or who is he?
Google describes a gentleman as someone who is a chivalrous, courteous or an honourable man. Hmm… interesting. And what’s interesting is that it is something that every girl wants, isn’t it? Perhaps ‘Are you kidding me?! Of course yes!’ or perhaps ‘Mmm…. I don’t know’.
While most of the girls (and truthfully) will go with the first answer, some like me would go for the second. The reason? Well, the second Google definition may help shed some light on it. It says, ‘gentleman’ is a polite or a formal way of referring to a man. For all those who are still batting their eyelids, with a huge question mark hanging above their heads, it simply means we assume or bestow this title on someone.
That someone who is courteous or rather who fits the age old picture of the fathomed ideal man. A man who would be considerate enough to lift a heavy bag for a girl or who would willing volunteer to squish a spider that scared you Miss Muffet away. While these all seem like dreamy and gorgeous ways to make you feel like a delicate damsel, let’s not forget they are also the ancient norms of behaviour for men, jotted down by the same born octogenarians who also set certain rules of conduct for the ‘ladies’.
While you are so fiercely fighting tooth and nail for your own rights of equality why do you think it is okay to let the men be left shackled in their old school? The women are shouting out slogans everyday to empower them, let them wear what they like, be out till whatever time they feel like and be given equal positions and wages at their jobs. Then why do you still expect the guys to pay the bill every single time you go on a date? Why would you prefer he pull the chair for you? And why would you remain seated till he walks all the way over to your side to open the car’s door?
Some of these gentlemanly ways are nice and do make you feel respected and courteous like offering a seat to a pregnant lady in the crowded metro or greeting your mom with a namaste. And some others like talking in a polite manner are just good etiquettes. These can and should be a part of anyone’s character, be it a girl or a guy.
But other than these, matters like him wearing baggy shorts, fashioning long hair or getting tattooed shouldn’t be considered as indecent or anti gentleman actions. The guys too need freedom just like the women do. Undue expectations from a guy in the name of gentlemanly antics is not only injustice but also far fetched as far as dating is concerned. After all don’t you like it when a guy is playful, witty and pulls your leg? Don’t you want him to give you the space to go anywhere without him putting a tab on you in the name of protection? And won’t you like to give them a treat when you get promoted?
The expectations or rather the rules the society has enforced on the guys has led you to think it is the only criteria to identify the nice guys from the rest of the rotten tomatoes. For all you know he could only be donning the said ‘gentleman’ façade only to get in your pants. So, be the change. Look beyond the societal standards and learn to look deep into a guy’s core to pick out the one who is actually nice minus the unnecessary frills. And lest you know, chivalry isn’t dead, though unfair presuppositions should be.
Featured Image Source : 50 Firstdates movie
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